2019: A "To-Do" list
As I think forward for 2019, I am reminded that many people say they hate resolutions. I hate them too, but I also like making plans and dreaming about the future and what I would like to do different with my life. The newest day of the year always seems like a good day to do this.
I saw one of those "about me" posts from my memories on Facebook this week, and the post asked what my favorite day of the year is - I said New Year's Day. I imagine I said this because a long time ago, my girlfriends and I used to get together on New Year's Day, drink wine, watch movies & play Scrabble, and talk about what we wanted from the future. I loved those days.
Today, I have spent the majority of the day alone. My house is fairly clean, although I should be putting the Christmas tree away. I did some laundry, and I've been reading and writing throughout the day, and thinking about what I want from the year to come.
I've come up with the following. I guess you could call it a list of resolutions, and that would be alright. Most people's "to-do" list for the next year starts with their health.
Speaking of health
I quit smoking about two years ago, after a bout with skin cancer. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, and it was. I know that some would argue that I didn't technically quit smoking, because I started using a vape pen at that time (for some reason I can't quite admit that I "vape"). It's less expensive than smoking, doesn't make my clothes and hair stink, and I lost the nagging chest cough overnight. I do still want a cigarette, and I've had a drag off someone else's and immediately regretted it. In fact, I regretted it even more the next day when I had a headache and a day long sore throat. So, I know I won't return to smoking but I would like to wean myself off these little pretend cigarettes. That's not really my resolution though. Since I quit smoking, I have gained a LOT of weight.
I need to be more active. Last year I purchased a gym membership from a really cheesy gym. It's very inexpensive and it seems like the "Walmart" of fitness clubs. It's so inexpensive that you can afford not to go and still keep up the membership. I need to either use that membership or pick up exercise somewhere else. I have a nice bike and two dogs who LOVE to go for walks. So, I definitely need to get off my butt and start caring about my weight. I was very thin for most of my life (bordering on anorexic) and just took for granted that I would always be that size. Not so. Eating better and cutting back on the Coors Light would probably help a lot also. I can't keep wasting my money on that gym and have nothing to show for it.
Speaking of money
I work hard and am compensated well for what I do. With that said, I am still not used to this, and tend to always feel like I am going to run out of money. I need to change my mindset and really wrap my head around when bills are due and budget for the things that need to be done around our house. I need to be disciplined and start saying "no" about things. I'm not a psychiatrist or anything but I sometimes feel like I shorted my family and myself for such a long time that I feel like I need to spend money that I didn't used to have. That sounds like I'm blaming someone other than myself and I'm not - I just need to get this figured out so that I'm not always feeling like I'm two steps away from being broke all the time.
Speaking of saying No
I started volunteering for things outside of work a couple of years ago and have found myself overwhelmed with commitments to the point that I'm starting to resent people and causes that I like. I have to stop myself from volunteering my time (and Mark's) and take it easy for a while. In fact, a few weeks ago I applied for a position on a board of a national organization. The candidate night is next week and I'm supposed to be preparing a statement. It would be good for my resume, but I found myself dreading the meeting. I think I am going to withdraw my name from the candidate list because I just can't take any more on and be effective at what I do need to do. So, my basic resolution is to slowly wean myself down to just 2-3 volunteer commitments (or less) and not take on any more this year. Besides, when I have too much to do, I don't spend time on my creative endeavors.
Speaking of creativity
I find myself getting jealous of people who have their work published, are being featured in art shows, playing paid gigs, or generally spend their free time being creative. I've had this blog for over ten years and last year removed everything and decided to start over. I realized that I know a lot of people who link to their writing and find myself annoyed that I don't do this myself. I can't get upset with anyone else when I have the resources, the time, and the talent to do the same. I plan to spend the next year honing my creative talents, playing music, sewing, creating more, and writing my novel, Lucille: 1883-1967. I have started writing it, and find myself stopping more than starting when it comes to this piece. I've been researching for this book for almost five years. No more. I will be posting here when I am particularly fond of anything I do, because otherwise the only place it will live is my laundry room.
Speaking of the laundry room
I only have a few hours left of this day to spend reading, writing, or making a mess of my art space, so I am going to shut this down for a while and go make something new!
I saw one of those "about me" posts from my memories on Facebook this week, and the post asked what my favorite day of the year is - I said New Year's Day. I imagine I said this because a long time ago, my girlfriends and I used to get together on New Year's Day, drink wine, watch movies & play Scrabble, and talk about what we wanted from the future. I loved those days.
Today, I have spent the majority of the day alone. My house is fairly clean, although I should be putting the Christmas tree away. I did some laundry, and I've been reading and writing throughout the day, and thinking about what I want from the year to come.
I've come up with the following. I guess you could call it a list of resolutions, and that would be alright. Most people's "to-do" list for the next year starts with their health.
Speaking of health
I quit smoking about two years ago, after a bout with skin cancer. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, and it was. I know that some would argue that I didn't technically quit smoking, because I started using a vape pen at that time (for some reason I can't quite admit that I "vape"). It's less expensive than smoking, doesn't make my clothes and hair stink, and I lost the nagging chest cough overnight. I do still want a cigarette, and I've had a drag off someone else's and immediately regretted it. In fact, I regretted it even more the next day when I had a headache and a day long sore throat. So, I know I won't return to smoking but I would like to wean myself off these little pretend cigarettes. That's not really my resolution though. Since I quit smoking, I have gained a LOT of weight.
I need to be more active. Last year I purchased a gym membership from a really cheesy gym. It's very inexpensive and it seems like the "Walmart" of fitness clubs. It's so inexpensive that you can afford not to go and still keep up the membership. I need to either use that membership or pick up exercise somewhere else. I have a nice bike and two dogs who LOVE to go for walks. So, I definitely need to get off my butt and start caring about my weight. I was very thin for most of my life (bordering on anorexic) and just took for granted that I would always be that size. Not so. Eating better and cutting back on the Coors Light would probably help a lot also. I can't keep wasting my money on that gym and have nothing to show for it.
Speaking of money
I work hard and am compensated well for what I do. With that said, I am still not used to this, and tend to always feel like I am going to run out of money. I need to change my mindset and really wrap my head around when bills are due and budget for the things that need to be done around our house. I need to be disciplined and start saying "no" about things. I'm not a psychiatrist or anything but I sometimes feel like I shorted my family and myself for such a long time that I feel like I need to spend money that I didn't used to have. That sounds like I'm blaming someone other than myself and I'm not - I just need to get this figured out so that I'm not always feeling like I'm two steps away from being broke all the time.
Speaking of saying No
I started volunteering for things outside of work a couple of years ago and have found myself overwhelmed with commitments to the point that I'm starting to resent people and causes that I like. I have to stop myself from volunteering my time (and Mark's) and take it easy for a while. In fact, a few weeks ago I applied for a position on a board of a national organization. The candidate night is next week and I'm supposed to be preparing a statement. It would be good for my resume, but I found myself dreading the meeting. I think I am going to withdraw my name from the candidate list because I just can't take any more on and be effective at what I do need to do. So, my basic resolution is to slowly wean myself down to just 2-3 volunteer commitments (or less) and not take on any more this year. Besides, when I have too much to do, I don't spend time on my creative endeavors.
Speaking of creativity
I find myself getting jealous of people who have their work published, are being featured in art shows, playing paid gigs, or generally spend their free time being creative. I've had this blog for over ten years and last year removed everything and decided to start over. I realized that I know a lot of people who link to their writing and find myself annoyed that I don't do this myself. I can't get upset with anyone else when I have the resources, the time, and the talent to do the same. I plan to spend the next year honing my creative talents, playing music, sewing, creating more, and writing my novel, Lucille: 1883-1967. I have started writing it, and find myself stopping more than starting when it comes to this piece. I've been researching for this book for almost five years. No more. I will be posting here when I am particularly fond of anything I do, because otherwise the only place it will live is my laundry room.
Speaking of the laundry room
I only have a few hours left of this day to spend reading, writing, or making a mess of my art space, so I am going to shut this down for a while and go make something new!
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